


Kiss me on the mouth and set me free

by StarsMadeinHeaven



Category: South Park
Genre: 16 Years Old, Cult of Cthulhu, M/M, Mild Language, Warning: Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-05 17:34:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14623698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsMadeinHeaven/pseuds/StarsMadeinHeaven
Summary: Kyle finds out that Kenny charges girls for a kiss to help them out with their relationship problems, blames K-Pop for it and ends up learning a thing or two about himself and Kenny on the way.





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at South Park fanfiction. I hope you'll like it.  
> If you want to ask anything, you can find me here too [mytumblr](https://starsmadeinheaven.tumblr.com/)

# Kiss me on the mouth and set me free

> _**When you’ll love, you’ll see past the illusion of Death.**_  
>  -Cthulhu’s Sacred book, page 341. 

> _**Death cannot kill what never dies.**_  
>  -William Penn 

###  Part I

Shit starts on a normal school morning.

Clyde sighs again, louder this time, and Cartman drops his fork on his empty plate, rolls his eyes to the sky and groans: 

“Seriously, I am so done with you!” 

Kyle looks up to Clyde, who is currently picking at his potatoes and does nothing worse than staring into the void. 

“Dude, you look like shit,” Stan declares, munching on his hamburger. 

“Bebe cheated on me again,” Clyde whispers. His voice shakes; a clear sign he is going to burst out crying if given the opportunity. Cartman mumbles something under his breath, grabs his tray and leaves the table before anyone can ask him where he’s going. 

“Relax, Clyde,” Token says watching disapprovingly as Cartman goes and sits between Butters and Jimmy, who are eating peacefully at another table. “Bebe didn’t cheat on you. She had a moment of self-doubt, like all girls seem to do nowadays” he adds, not caring to conceal the bitterness in his voice. 

“What’s going on?” Kyle asks, curious. “What’s up with the girls?” 

“You would know if you had a girlfriend,” Clyde mutters. 

“Stan?” Kylie asks, turning to look at his best friend, but Stan just shrugs. 

“Apparently,” Token says, “your friend Kenny offers to kiss girls who want to figure out more about their relationship status. It seems that making out with another guy helps them realize whether they love their boyfriend or not”. 

“That’s nuts!” Kyle exclaims. 

“He takes money for it too,” Clyde adds. 

“Why do you think Cartman left?” Token asks. “It was his idea. He takes half of the profits”. 

“Jesus Christ, dude. I had no idea,” Kyle says. A flicker of irritation burbles inside him like a dormant dragon, and Kyle suddenly loses his appetite. Clyde sighs again. 

“Dude, do you think Wendy cheated on me and she didn’t tell me?” Stan asks, eyes wide.

“You know Wendy would never do that,” Kyle immediately reassures him. 

“Nichole tried and decided she loves me still,” Token pipes in. “She told me she kissed Kenny after I found out about Cartman’s idea”. 

“Fuck!” Stan exclaims and puts the half-eaten hamburger down. “What if-!” 

“This is the second time Bebe kisses Kenny!” Clyde interrupts him, his arms shooting in the air along with his fork. “This means I am done for, Token! It’s over!” he shouts, hides his face in his hands and sobs. Stan looks utterly terrified. 

“Oh, that does it!” Kyle exclaims, shots up from his place and after making sure Cartman receives one of his you-are-going-to-pay-for-this looks, leaves the guys to their lunch break and heads off to confront Kenny. 

It’s not difficult to find the guy. Kyle just has to follow the line of smitten looking girls walking down the hall. He turns right, passes by the girl’s bathroom, turns left, exits the building and crosses the patch of school grounds the Goth kids used to hang out in before they became dropouts, or moved out of town, Kyle doesn’t know. He never cared to ask. There, by the parking lot, Kyle immediately spots Kenny making out with some random girl. He doesn’t know her, but his whole attention is on his friend, on the way his hands go up the girl’s shirt, pushing her right against the wall with his body. 

“Hey!” Kyle exclaims. “What’s the big idea?” 

The girl lets out a screech, pulls her shirt back down and pushes Kenny away. Kyle doesn’t dignify her with a look, and she just runs past by him, back into school. 

“Hi, Kyle,” Kenny greets him, lips still swollen red. 

“What the fuck do you think you are doing?” Kyle asks, pointing an accusing finger at him. 

“What?”

“Can’t you see you are destroying relationships this way? This is completely wrong! You can go kissing other people’s girlfriends just because Cartman’s tells you to! Someone is going to end up with their heart broken!” 

Kenny rolls his eyes. 

“Relax, Kyle. Is no big deal,” he mumbles, running a hand through his blond hair. 

“No big deal?” Kyle shouts. “You let Cartman be your pimp and it’s no big deal?” 

“I am not a whore”.

“Token says you get paid”. 

“Five dollars, Kyle, and I help these girls out,” Kenny says with a shrug. Kyle’s widens his eyes at him, and Kenny smirks. “Plus I get to touch their boobs for free, so I am actually enjoying it a lot”. 

“Jesus Christ!” Kyle raises his hand through this air. “It’s wrong, Kenny! You can’t do that!” 

“Why not?” Kenny asks, eyes immediately narrowing. “I think you are just jealous that you are not profiting from this yourself”. 

“What?” Kyles asks, taken aback. 

“Oh, come on,” Kenny says, “you used to do this all the time too, remember?” 

“That’s not the point, Kenny!” Kyle exclaims, cheeks red. “You are destroying loving relationships with this! The girls are breaking up with their boyfriends after kissing you. They are cheating on them, even when they are perfectly happy together, and that’s completely wrong”. 

“Did you ever consider that, if they break up with their boyfriends, the problem is not me?” Kenny asks. “Kissing me shouldn’t change their mind so easily”. 

“But-!” 

“I’m flattered, Kyle, but I am not the problem,” Kenny says. Kyle doesn’t look convinced. 

Kenny is unpredictable, and Kyle knows this. But even if he should have seen this coming, he is shocked about it anyway. Kenny grabs him by the front of the shirt, pulls him abruptly close and locks lips with him. There is concealed anger in the kiss, a hunger that shouldn’t have been there, and Kyle is too stunned to move, so Kenny easily moves him around and slams him against the wall. He feels his friend’s body press against him, feels Kenny lick his lower lip, and his mind goes blank. 

It doesn’t last long. 

“Fuck!” Kenny shouts pushing suddenly away and touching his bleeding lip. “What the fuck was that for? Did you just bite me?”

“What the hell, Kenny!” Kyle exclaims in fury. “You have no right to jump on me like that!” 

“I wanted to prove a point to you!” Kenny shouts back. “If you are sure of yourself, then kissing me can’t change your mind so easily”. 

“You don’t need to kiss me to prove a point to me, asshole!” Kyle exclaims. Kenny looks at Kyle, blue eyes piercing his soul with their intensity, and he suddenly smirks. 

“It’s five dollars,” he teases him. Kyle swears under his breath, pushes Kenny away and returns back to school. 

“Don’t be late!” Kyle shouts over his shoulder. “You are going to miss class”. 

When Stan asks him where he’s been, Kyle lies. Kenny waltzes back in class like nothing is the matter, drops down in his seat and takes his secondhand book out. Kyle notices the way Bebe shots a glance towards his blond friend, and Kyle grits his teeth. When Kenny catches him staring and winks, Kyle just snorts and pointedly stares at the chalkboard in front of him. 

His mind is spinning around. 

Kyle definitely does not think about Kenny’s sudden kiss, or the way Kenny’s fingers had hooked under his waistband to pull their crotches closer. He still feels the wall scratch against his shoulder blades, and Kyle knows nothing happened. Kenny kiss had no effect on him, meaning it shouldn’t have any effect on any girl. So maybe Kenny is right. This is a girls’ problem. 

Kyle is not paying attention to class, and when Stan nudges him at some point because the teacher has asked a question to Kyle and he hasn’t answered, Kyle realizes he’s in deep shit. Kenny snickers behind him, but nothing compares to the way Cartman beams when the teacher scolds Kyle for his attention span. 

He is going to make the fat-ass pay. 

* * *

“I got this!” Kyle exclaims the day after. He’s pulled an all-nighter for this and he can’t wait to share his ideas with the other guys. Stan, Clyde, Token, Jimmy, Tweek and Craig look up at him from their books. The library is silent as always and Kyle’s suddenly triumphal cry resonates like a fart in the middle of a funeral. Someone shushes him. 

“Tell us you know how to cheat on this fucking math test,” Craig prays. 

“You shouldn’t cheat on the test, Craig,” Kyle reprimands him, sitting down with them. He pulls his dossier out and shows it to the guys. “I know why Cartman is earning so much with his dumb idea!” 

“What idea?” Tweek asks. 

“Pushing Kenny to kiss girls instead of letting them find a good couples therapist,” Token explains. 

“He is still doing it?” Craig asks. “Figures Kenny was going to enjoy it in the end”. 

“I heard K-Kenny is ch-charging eight dollars now,” Jimmy says. 

“He is?” Kyle asks. Someone shoos again. “Anyway, that’s not the point. I realized why girls seek out Kenny in the first place and break up with the boyfriends later,” he concludes in a hushed whisper. 

“Kenny is handsome,” Clyde replies. Kyle remembers when his friend used to be the first one on the infamous girl list, and how let down Clyde had been when the new list came out somewhere around eight grade, when Kenny slotted into first place. There is no denying it: Kenny is really attractive, and girls follow him around like cats in heat. Wendy Testaburger is the only exception, too caught up in her principles to really give it a thought. 

“H-he must be just a damn good kisser,” Jimmy stutters. Kyle is not going to agree with him. 

“No!” Kyle exclaims, and opens the dossier to the first page. “Listen to me, guys. There is a very simple reason why Cartman’s stupid idea reeled the girls in,” he declared and shows them a picture of Kenny surrounded by girls. Clyde’s interest is all on him. “I made my research and it looks like this whole mess goes back to some couple of months ago, when another phenomenon made the female population go mad”. 

“What phenomenon?” Token asks. 

“K-Pop,” Kyle declares, changes the page to some pie charts he made all by himself late at night and points at some pictures of various Korean artists. 

“K-Pop,” Craig repeats, unimpressed. 

“What the fuck is that?” Stan asks, but when Clyde explains it to him, he looks back at Kyle as if he has grown a second head. “Are you serious?” 

“Very,” Kyle states most emphatically. “I asked around, and at least seventy three percent of South Park High School female students are head over heels for these new bands,” he says pointing at another picture of a Korean musician. “When asked, they said their dream is to meet someone as handsome as these guys are”. 

“What does that have to do with Kenny?” Clyde asks. 

“Apparently he is regarded to be as handsome as these faggots are, if not more,” Kyle says. “Clearly, the girls are fantasizing about making out with K-Pop singers all the time and they want to act out their kinks with Kenny. Cartman saw this and it’s exploiting them all”. 

“Kyle, you do realize you s-s-sound like a jealous chick, right?” Jimmy asks. 

“I am not jealous!” Kyle exclaims. “This is serious, guys. K-Pop is seriously undermining your relationships! You can’t just stand there and do nothing. I am saying this for your own sake”. 

“What can we do?” Clyde asks. “We can’t just forbid our girlfriends from listening to K-Pop!”

“I wouldn’t worry,” Token says. “If K-Pop is indeed to blame, then we just have to wait until the fad is over”. 

“Until then it might be too late,” Kyle reasoned. 

“I am not going to declare war on Korea, if that’s what you have in mind,” Craig says. 

“I don’t think Korea has anything to do with Kenny making out with girls for money,” Tweek pipes in. 

“What the fuck do you know?” Kyle asks. “You two have been together for years! Neither of you is going to turn to Kenny, of all people, for advice”. 

“Hey, don’t talk to Tweek with that tone of voice,” Craig said, narrowing his eyes at Kyle. 

“I think you are overreacting, Kyle,” Stan says, shrugging. “Wendy would never cheat on me for some Korean fag. As far as I know, she doesn’t even listen to that kind of shit”. 

“Are you sure about that, Stan?” Kyle asks. 

“Why can’t we c-consider the possibility that Kenny is indeed a good kisser and he just gives the attention the girl’s want?” Jimmy asks and smiles. “M-maybe all we need to do is t-to talk it out with our sweethearts and-!” 

“Kenny is not a good kisser!” Kyle exclaims. “He is just being exploited!” 

“How do you know that?” Stan asks. 

“Goddamit, Stan. I am trying to help you here”. 

Kyle groans in frustration and shuts his dossier. Craig mumbles something under his breath and Tweek snickers by his side. Token rolls his eyes to the ceiling and goes back to his book. Only Clyde still looks mildly interested in the dossier Kyle is holding close to his chest, while Stan stares at his notes without really seeing them. 

“I am going to talk to Wendy,” Stan declares finally, standing up from his place. The chair legs screech across the floor, and someone shushes them once again. Kyle proudly watches him leave the library. 

“Stan is not really buying your K-Pop conspiracy theory, Kyle,” Craig says, moving closer to Token so they can compare notes. 

“It’s not a conspiracy,” Kyle says. “There is bulletproof evidence supporting my theory”. 

“We are _not_ declaring war on Korea,” Tweek says. 

“Goddamit,” Kyle swears and leaves the guys to study in peace. 

Later that afternoon, while the boys wait for the bus to go back home, Kenny is looking at Kyle funny. 

“What?” Kyle asks, frustrated. 

“So I heard you think I’m handsome,” Kenny comments, and Cartman immediately snaps to attention, the bored look on his face gone in an instant. 

“I did not say such a thing,” Kyle denies. 

“You kinda did, dude,” Stan says. “Remember your K-Pop conspiracy theory?” 

“That’s sweet,” Cartman snickers. “I already knew you were a fag, but this is-!” 

“Oh, shut up, Cartman,” Kyle declares, interrupting him before the other can make him feel even worse. “This is all your fault. What you are doing is wrong and immoral! You can’t make Kenny kiss girls and plant doubt in their minds for your own profit!” 

“Shit, Kyle. Kenny agreed to it. You make it sound like I am forcing him to,” Cartman says. “Besides, I am doing more good than you can imagine. These girls need advice, Kahl. I am only helping them out,” he adds. 

“That’s bullshit, and you know it!” Kyle exclaims. 

“Maybe it’s not such a bad idea,” Stan says. “If Kenny is enjoying it-!” 

“You are just saying that because Wendy has not kissed him yet,” Kyle interrupts him, and Stan shrugs, hiding his hands in his pocket. 

“Kenny would never do this to me,” Stan says. 

“I would not,” Kenny agrees. 

“Guys, you are missing the point here,” Cartman says. “Kyle is just jealous Kenny has not given it to him yet”. 

“Fuck you, Cartman” Kyle says, and decides to go home on foot. 

* * *

Two days later Clyde and Bebe do break up, and Kyle can’t wrap his head around the fact the boys still don’t see how dangerous K-Pop really is. They never listen, so it’s their fault if their girlfriends dump them in the end. 

That morning, Kyle is waiting for the bus all by himself. He is early and decides to grab this opportunity to study for the upcoming math test. Kenny arrives when he has gone over the log functions for the third time. 

“I am still mad at you,” Kyle says. 

“What did I do now?” Kenny asks, frustrated. “I thought we agreed that kissing me can’t possibly make people doubt their relationships”. 

“Apparently it can,” Kyle says. Kenny’s eyes twinkle with amusement. 

“Oh, are you having self-doubts now?” Kenny asks, smirking. “Am I that good?” 

“You are not such a good kisser, Kenny,” Kyle says. 

“You bit me before it could get good,” Kenny retorts. 

“What did you expect me to do?” Kyle asks, annoyed by the way Kenny stares at him, as if he knew something Kyle didn’t. “Just forget it. What you’ve been doing is wrong, and you shouldn’t let Cartman use you like that”. 

“Fine, don’t get your panties in a knot,” Kenny says. “I’ll stop it, if it makes you stop being jelly”. 

“I am not jealous of you, Kenny,” Kyle replies. 

“Are you jealous of the girls then?” Kenny asks and smiles. “I didn’t know you were so possessive, but wow, am I flattered”. 

“I am not gay, stop it”.

“And here you are, doubting yourself”. 

“Your kisses don’t have the power to turn someone gay”. 

“Then you agree with me that I can’t possibly break up a couple by engaging one of them in a hot make out session”. 

“It’s not the same!” Kyle exclaims. He is not used to fight with Kenny, but it doesn’t take him long to realize how different it feels from the fights he has with Cartman, or even Stan, sometimes. Maybe it’s Kenny’s humor; it is difficult for Kyle to actually get angry at him. Riling the usually silent Kenny is kind of exciting, actually. Kyle never knows what could happen next. 

“It is!” Kenny groans, makes a bee line to him, grabs Kyle by the shirt and crashes their lips together. This time Kyle doesn’t bite him, but he is too stunned to react in a sensible way anyway. He doesn’t know why, but his eyes shut close on their own accord. Kenny tilts his head just so, and Kyle feels his legs give away beneath him. Maybe it’s the way they are perfectly aligned together. Maybe Kyle is just surprised Kenny can taste so good. It’s over before he can completely understand what happened. 

“Feel any gayer now?” Kenny asks. 

“No,” Kyle croaks out, pushes Kenny away and, almost by reflex, raises a hand to hit him. When Kenny laughs, however, all anger for being attacked once again dissolves into nothing, and his hand drops by his side. 

“Then I’m right,” Kenny declares. He smirks and takes a step closer, turning suddenly serious, reminding Kyle of those days when they used to play superheroes when they were kids. “You are smart, Ky. Just drop this K-Pop business, it’s not worth it”.

If someone else had told him the same, Kyle wouldn’t have listened. He is still convinced to be in the right, that K-Pop and girls fantasizing about marrying some guy with an unpronounceable name has something to do with their lust for Kenny, the most handsome boy in their class. Still, if Kenny drops it, then Kyle will too. 

“Don’t let that fat-ass use you,” Kyle says. 

“As if you care,” Kenny mumbles pulling his parka up his head. “I’ll miss the boobs, though”. 

Kyle doesn’t know why but he is relieved and laughs, and when Kenny’s eyes move just so, betraying the presence of a hidden smile, he feels just a little bit better. 

“Hey, guys” Stan greets them, Cartman in tow, and Kenny and Kyle don’t speak for the rest of the day.

Kyle has no idea why, but after their second not-real kiss he starts noticing Kenny more. They have always been friends, but during the last week something happened, and Kyle feels as if he had just met a stranger. He doesn’t know much about Kenny after all. 

One day, the four of them are playing videogames at the Broflovskis, and Kyle leaves the group to grab something to drink from the fridge. Kenny is right behind him. 

“Bebe asked me out,” he confessed, taking the soda can out from Kyle’s hand and taking a sip. “Don’t you have something stronger here?” 

“My mom is going to flip if she catches any of us drinking” Kyle blurts out, still processing what Kenny has just said. 

“Fair enough”. 

“Bebe asked you out?”

“Yeah, yesterday. Third period”. 

“For real?”

“Why do you sound so shocked?”

“What did you say?”

“I turned her down,” Kenny admits nonchalantly and drinks some more soda. 

“I thought you’d be thrilled,” Kyle says. “You always praise her body”. 

“It lost all appeal these past few weeks” Kenny replies. “Moreover, I can’t take Clyde’s crying any longer. If he sees her with me, he might do something stupid”. 

“I didn’t know you cared so much about Clyde”.

“Well, are you going to be jealous of him too?” 

“It’s not funny, Kenny”. 

“Trust me. It is,” Kenny says, passes by Kyle, gives him his soda can back and deliberately caresses his butt. Kyle’s breathe hitches and almost throws the can on Kenny’s head before he remembers that his mom is not going to be so happy about the mess he would make on the wall. Kenny laughs on his way out, and Kyle murmurs a swearword before following him outside. 

Kyle doesn’t know if he should share that piece of information with the other boys, but by the end of the day he decides it’s not worth telling. He makes sure to keep a close eye on Bebe, though. 

The next day at school Bebe can’t stop glancing at Kenny when he thinks no one is looking. Clyde doesn’t, but he is probably trying hard not to look at Bebe to really see what she’s up to. Kenny does, though, and being the little shit that he is, winks at her and then winks at Kyle for no apparent reason. Bebe’s eyes are immediately on him, and Kyle blushes against his will. 

During lunch break Bebe leaves her usual table, where Wendy, Red and the rest of the girls of their class usually sit, and comes to stand behind Kyle, tray in her hands. 

“Mind if I sit here?” she asks, but she is already sitting down next to Jimmy before anyone can reply. Kyle is sitting on her right, Kenny and Stan right in front of her, and the three of them raise an eyebrow in question. 

“Did you girls fight?” Stan asks. 

“No,” Bebe says, “I just feel like sitting here”. 

It’s Clyde who has a problem with the sitting arrangement. He is pointedly staring at the tray in front of him, and Bebe shots him a long, thoughtful look. 

“Hey, Bebe,” Kyle starts. “Do you listen to K-Pop?” 

Someone groans. 

“K-Pop?” Bebe asks, taken aback. “No, that’s Red. She is really into it, why?” 

“No reason,” Kyle says. 

“Don’t mind him,” Cartman pipes in. “He is questioning his sexuality”. 

Kyle can’t help noticing how Bebe’s eyes flicker to Kenny at that. Clyde raises his head right in that moment and looks up at Bebe, who immediately hangs her head low. The girl starts picking at her salad with an annoyed look on her face. 

“Come on, guys” she says. “You are supposed to be funny. Why are you so serious all of a sudden? Do I make you uncomfortable?” 

“No, no” and “Of course not” run all along the table. 

“You know what? I don’t understand you,” Bebe says, frowning. “I know you call me a slut when I am not around, and you even make some unnecessary comments right in my face. You don’t really respect me at all, so don’t pretend like you care about my feelings now!” Bebe exclaims, stands up, picks up her tray and leaves, back to her usual table. 

“What was that all about?” Cartman asks. Clyde watches Bebe go. He is unnaturally silent, and Kyle can’t help feel bad for the guy. 

“Well, there goes my K-Pop theory,” Kyle says later that afternoon, while Kenny and he are walking back home together. Stan has a date with Wendy, and Cartman told them he is going to hang out with Butters. Kyle doesn’t want to know what the poor guy is going to go through that afternoon. 

Kenny doesn’t reply. 

“You see, I think I got it,” Kyle starts. “Bebe just wanted to be cherished and respected, not hungered for. That is something every sensible human being wants, isn’t it? Clyde probably didn’t stand up for her at all, but with you she felt appreciated. You probably played your cards right and even asked for permission before cupping a feel”. 

“Maybe,” Kenny mumbles. He is not denying it, so Kyle knows he’s in the right. 

“Do you know what bothered me a lot more though?” Kyle asks. 

“What?”

“This whole mess made me realize you feel underappreciated too. You said I don’t care about you”. 

“No, you don’t, Kyle. You forgot our anniversary and bought me dish soap as a birthday present,” Kenny jokes. Kyle stops walking, and Kenny turns to look at him, hands in his pockets. 

“When did I not care about you?” 

Kenny rolls his eyes to the sky. 

“I’m serious, Kenny” Kyle says. 

“I’m going to be late for my part-time job” Kenny says, out of the blue. 

“You have a part-time job?” Kyle asks, surprised. Kenny smirks, but it’s not pretty, and Kyle makes a step back in shame. 

“I’m poor, remember?” Kenny asks. “Or do you only remember when you need something to laugh at?” 

“Kenny-!”

“I’m saving money for my sister,” Kenny admits. “She wants to be a doctor one day. She told me she wants to help people solve their problems in any way she can”. 

“That’s… nice” Kyle says. 

“Yeah…” Kenny mouths, kicks some dirt and lets out a heavy sigh. “Moreover, Playboy magazines are getting more and more expensive. It’s not easy to jerk off to a 1958 beauty, not when you think about how she must look now”.

“Do you remember when we played superheroes?” Kyle asks, ignoring Kenny’s offhanded comment about Playboy and 1958 beauties. Kenny looks up at him, and Kyle can’t help thinking that Kenny’s eyes are beautiful. 

“I always thought you were the most badass hero of us all,” Kyle says. “You’ve always been selfless”.

“Kyle? Are you flirting with me?” Kenny asks, faking shock, and Kyle shakes his head in exasperation. He scratches the back of his head and looks away. 

“I am trying to make a point here,” Kyle states, and Kenny laughs. 

“Which is?” Kenny asks with a smirk, but Kyle can’t really answer. He doesn’t expect Kenny walking up to him and caress his cheek in what might be seen as a loving gesture. His thumb softly rubs the corner of his lower lip, and Kyle looks up, ready to retort, but just falls silent when he comes face to face with Kenny’s eyes. 

He wants to bat Kenny’s hand away, but ends up staring instead. 

Kyle might have been wrong about K-Pop, but he sure wasn’t when he considered Kenny’s handsomeness in all this mess. It’s impossible not to see how Kenny is growing out to be a stunning man. It’s obvious girls are going to leap at the first opportunity to suck Kenny’s face, and maybe Cartman has seen right to exploit this all. Nevertheless, Kyle still doesn’t like the thought of all those girls hanging on Kenny like he was just a piece of meat. 

“K-Kyle?” 

Kenny’s stuttering pushes Kyle out of his thoughts, and he blinks at Kenny’s startled expression. 

“I need to go” Kenny says, looking extremely embarrassed, and Kyle has no idea what has just happened. 

“See you, dude,” Kyle says. Kenny just waves goodbye at him and disappears around a corner. He doesn’t hear from him for the rest of the day. 

* * *

“So how did it go yesterday?” Kyle asks Kenny the morning after at school, sitting down at his desk.

“Who are you asking?” Kenny asks. Kyle shots a glance to Stan listening to whatever Wendy is blabbering about and turns to Kenny with an eyebrow raised. “Well, I was sacked,” Kenny confesses. 

“What?” 

Kenny looks embarrassed. 

“They fired me because it’s the third time in a row I didn’t show up to work,” he mumbles. 

“You didn’t show up?” Kyle asks. 

“Something happened,” Kenny mutters looking away, and Kyle tilts his head in confusion. He wants to tell Kenny he knows he would have never skipped work if he hadn’t a good reason to, but the words just stuck in his throat. He wants to ask if something happened to Karen, or with his family, but he is afraid to hear the answer. It would show just how much Kyle hadn’t cared about Kenny’s whereabouts before, when he didn’t feel like asking. He doesn’t want to give Kenny the impression that something has changed between them. 

“You’ll find something else,” Kyle says in the end. Kenny shrugs. 

“Hey fellas,” Butters comes in the classroom right then, a bloody bandage around his blond head. Kyle and Kenny immediately forget about their conversation and give Butters their whole attention. They want to hear all about what happened to his head, but Butters doesn’t talk. Kyle suspects Cartman has something to do with it. 

* * *

“They are fighting again,” Stan comments while they are waiting in the school yard for next period to start. Kyle looks up from his math book to see what his friend is pointing at and soon spots Craig and Tweak discussing very animatedly about something none of them can hear. Cartman and Butters are standing close to them, but it’s impossible to say whether they have something to do with their fight or not. Even from that distance, though, it’s clear that Cartman is actually enjoying the show. 

“We should do something,” Kyle says closing his book, but Stan shrugs. 

“If it’s a lover quarrel, I don’t want to have anything to do with it”.

“I wonder if they are really lovers,” Kenny pipes in, and both Stan and Kyle turn to look at him in surprise. 

“Dude, they’ve been together since fourth grade,” Stan says, amused. 

“I always thought they just pretended to date,” Kenny says. 

“You saw them kissing, Kenny,” Kyle says. 

“Yeah, man, no one can pretend to enjoy making out with someone they don’t really like,” Stan says. 

“Are you sure about that?” Kenny asks with a smirk, and Kyle feels his throat suddenly dry. He expects it this time, but he doesn’t make any move to get away from it. When Kenny leans over to him, cups the back of Kyle’s head and presses their lips together, Kyle just decides to go along with it. No reason. 

His heart skips a beat when Kenny moans, loudly. 

“Dude, I didn’t need to see that!” Stan exclaims and Kenny pulls away laughing, a spit trail linking their mouths together. 

“You jerk,” Kyle manages to spit out and angrily wipes his mouth clean with the back of his hand. It takes him a second to realize Craig and Tweek has stopped fighting to look at them, eyes wide. “Fuck you, Kenny,” Kyle swears looking around to see who else has seen them. He heaves a sigh of relief when he realizes Cartman and Butters are nowhere to be seen. The late-for-class bell has already rung. 

“If you wish,” Kenny replies. 

“Next time you want to prove a point,” Stan says, “don’t use me as a scapegoat”. 

“You wouldn’t enjoy it anyway,” Kenny says, and the implication stabs Kyle right in the heart. Stan doesn’t seem to get it, though, and glances to Craig walking back to school with Tweek’s hand in his. 

“You really think it is all make-believe?” Stan asks, curious. “But why?” 

“The fuck do I know,” Kyle says, not really giving a damn. He follows Craig and Tweek’s example and walks back to school as well. Stan is right behind him. Kenny doesn’t show up to class. 

* * *

“So it’s true?” Bebe whispers to Kyle when class is over. 

“What’s true?” Kyle asks back, but she just rolls her eyes up to the sky. 

“You know, my mom always says that as a Stevens, I can’t possibly strive to be anything else but someone’s hot wife. That beauty is all I’ve got,” she says, “but I am not stupid, Kyle”. 

“I am not following you,” Kyle says. 

“Wendy told me all about your K-Pop theories, but now I see it was just a way to deliberately hide the truth. You really didn’t like Kenny kissing all of all”.

“It was immoral,” Kyle defends himself. 

“He is really good,” Bebe confesses. “Sometimes I honestly believed he loved me back. Now I know it’s not true,” she says standing up. Kyle follows her, ignoring the way Clyde and Stan snap to attention. 

“Bebe!” he shouts, and Bebe hesitates by the door. The two of them walk out of the classroom together, and Kyle stops only when he is sure no one is eavesdropping. 

“You shouldn’t be mad at Clyde,” Kyle says. “He doesn’t want to show how much he really loves you in front of the other guys. You know how cruel Cartman, or any of us, can be. He does care about you, even when he doesn’t ask all the questions you want him to ask. He is trying his best”. 

Bebe gives him a long, calculating look, but she doesn’t immediately reply. She flips her blond hair behind her shoulders and balances the books she is holding in front of her chest. 

“Who asked for your advice?” Bebe asked disapprovingly, clicks her tongue and turns her back at him. Kyle lets out a sigh of frustration and walks back in class where Stan and Clyde are still waiting for him. 

“What happened, dude?” Stan asks. 

“Did she talk about me?” Clyde pries instead. 

“She just wants to be considered more, Clyde,” Kyle says, picks up his books and checks his timetable for his next class. “Hey,” he asks looking around the almost empty classroom. “Did any of you see Kenny?” 

“I thought he went home,” Stan says. “Didn’t he say so after our break?”

“Did he?” Kyle asks. As much as he tries to remember Kenny saying something about leaving to them, all he can see in his mind’s eye is Kenny leaning down to kiss him on the mouth to prove a point to Stan. He immediately hides his blush to his friends, but neither Stan nor Clyde seem to see something wrong with him.

“Come on, let’s just go,” Stan says, and Kyle and Clyde follow him outside. 

When Kyle returns home that afternoon, he decides to pay the Mccormicks a visit. It’s Karen who answers the door. The girl is growing up to be a real beauty, just like her brother, and when Karen smiles, Kyle can’t help thinking of Kenny’s friendly grin. He won’t admit it out loud, but he kind of misses it.

“Is Kenny home?” he asks. 

“No, he didn’t come home just yet,” she replies. 

Kyle imagines her grown up and following the career of her choice, away from that shitty, crazy town that is South Park. Two weeks before Kyle was sure he was going to leave one day to go to college too, but now he is not so positive about it anymore. Stan constantly assures him he would follow him, but Kyle knows that Stan will choose Wendy in the end. He didn’t understand him then, but now he does. 

“Hey, Karen,” Kyle asks, before he leaves. “Did Kenny ever talk to you about college and stuff?” 

“I don’t think he wants to go to college,” Karen says. “He hates studying”.

But does he? Kyle wonders. Kenny usually comes to school unprepared, but Kyle suddenly realizes that happens when Kenny has wandered off somewhere unknown the day before. Maybe he is too busy with part-time jobs and taking care of his sister to do his homework, but that doesn’t mean he might not want to go to college one day. 

“Okay, thanks,” Kyle says instead and waves her goodbye. 

The next morning, Kenny is waiting by the bus stop as he always does. Kyle is relieved to see him. 

“Why did you disappear yesterday?” Kyle asks. “I’ve been searching for you”. 

“Oh, did you miss me that much, Kyle?” Kenny asks in his flirty tone. 

“Seriously, dude, where have you been?” Kyle asks, but Kenny shrugs. 

“I just felt like going home”. 

“I’ve been there, you weren’t home yesterday”. 

“I didn’t know you were such a stalker, Kyle”. 

Kyle remains silent for a moment. 

“Did I upset you?” he asks, but Kenny seems to be the one offended by the mere suggestion. “I mean, you kissed me and-!” 

Kenny bursts out laughing. 

“Goddammit, Kenny. This is not funny!” Kyle exclaims. 

“It was just a kiss, man,” Kenny says. “Do you really think I skipped school because you are such a bad kisser?” 

“Am I?” Kyle asks. 

“No, Kyle, you’re not,” Kenny replies. Kyle stomach turns into a knot. 

“So what happened?” Kyle asks. 

“Do you want to know the truth?” Kenny asks when his laughter subsides. “I-!” 

Kyle sees Kenny’s mouth form words but he doesn’t hear them. He furrows his eyebrows, thinking he recognizes every syllable, but no sound accompanies Kenny’s lips. 

“Hey, guys,” Cartman greets them. “You won’t believe what happened yesterday!” 

Kyle turns his attention to him. In a matter of seconds he forgets he has asked Kenny to tell him the truth. Whatever Kenny said, just disappears from his memory. 

* * *

“I died,” Kenny admits, but Kyle just stares at him, uncomprehending. Cartman starts talking about Tweek and Craig’s fight. Apparently, they were arguing about Stripe again. Apparently, Cartman has pushed Butters to guinea-nap the poor animal two days before, because Stripe had ingurgitated Cartman’s money and he wanted it back. The guys didn’t need to hear the details, he tells them. Apparently, Butters fell down when he tried to climb down Craig’s window. 

“Cartman! What the fuck did you do?” Kyle exclaims, angry. 

Kenny does not really care to hear the rest of Cartman’s crazy adventure. 

He just thinks that Kyle is even more handsome when he’s angry. 

* * *

When Kyle asks Kenny if they want to hang out or something, Kenny is sure Kyle is asking all of them. It takes him a while to realize neither Stan nor Cartman are in the vicinity. 

“Sure,” Kenny says. “If you promise me to make my night enjoyable”. 

“I was just thinking of going to the movies,” Kyle says, and Kenny finds the way Kyle manages to ignore and/or dodge his puns, adorable.

“Okay. What movie does Stan want to see?” 

“Stan?” Kyle asks. “You want me to invite him too? I think he has football practice, though, he probably won’t come”. 

“Oh, so it’s like the three of us?” 

“I don’t want Cartman to ruin my Saturday evening”. 

“Oh,” Kenny mouths. He wants to come up with something witty, but the way Kyle’s green eyes stare at him, how his face softens so imperceptibly, makes Kenny think that he doesn’t want to say anything that might make Kyle retract his offer. 

“Sure,” he agrees. “Should I pick you up and bring flowers?”

“Let’s just meet in front of the movie theater,” Kyle says, laughing. “I don’t trust you bringing flowers. You’ll pick them up from the side of the road, where hobos pee. And that’s just disgusting”. 

“I wouldn’t do that,” Kenny defends himself. 

“You did it with that girl in seventh grade, Kenny. Don’t think I forgot about it,” Kyle says. “So, see you at six?” he asks. 

“Yes, sure” Kenny agrees. 

The movie theater is packed. It’s one of those movies they both like, full of explosions, stupid punch lines and, just for Kenny’s enjoyment, naked women. Kyle’s shoulder is pressing against his. Kenny can feel him every time he bursts out laughing. Kenny thinks it’s nice to see him so happy for a chance. 

At some point Kyle’s hand is on his side of the armchair, and Kenny can’t resist. 

He slides his hand over Kyle’s one, feels the other boy’s fingers under his. Kyle doesn’t seem to notice. Someone boos at the screen, and Kyle suddenly turns to look at him with an amused expression on his face. This time it’s Kenny who doesn’t notice how Kyle has absentmindedly turned his palm up and has interlocked their fingers together. 

* * *

The day of the much feared math test is approaching. Stan and a bunch of other guys start panicking because they have not studied for it at all, and Token suggests forming a study group and meeting thrice a week at his house. Kyle’s in, even if he is not afraid to fail, Tweek is in too, and when Wendy agrees to it, Stan decides to tag along. Bebe, Heidi, Clyde, Jimmy and Timmy are going to be there too. Cartman declines. Butters just mumbles something about being grounded for guinea-napping Stripe. 

“What about you, Kenny?” Kyle asks. 

“What about me?”

“Don’t you want to pass this test?”

“I don’t care much about it”.

“Yes, but even if you don’t go to college, you need good grades to finish school. Do you know how low your chances to get a good paid job are, if you just drop high-school?” 

“God, Kyle, you’re such a stuck up Jewish prick,” Cartman says.

“Shut up, Cartman. I am telling this for his own good!” 

“Okay,” Kenny mutters before Cartman and Kyle could start fighting. 

“Okay?” Token asks, taken aback. “Great!” he exclaims, smiling wide. “See you later this afternoon then!” 

Kenny shrugs, but when he catches the way Kyle is beaming, he can’t help smiling back at him. 

“You are so lame, guys” Cartman comments, but no one pays attention to him, anyway. 

Study groups by Token are never fun, but they serve their purpose. Mr. and Mrs. Black provide them with all the books they need, and if they need some kind of math tutor, Token’s mother is willing to teach them. They scatter around Token’s room, and when Kenny flops down next to Kyle, no one seems to care. The two of them listen to Wendy while she is trying to teach Stan the basics right in front of them. 

“I’m going to grab something to drink,” Kyle says at some point. 

“You know where the kitchens are,” Token replies from his place next to Nichole. Bebe glances up from her book. 

“I’m coming with you,” Kenny says, and Kyle looks as if that is what exactly he wanted to hear. They leave the room and step out into the empty hall. 

“Do you need help with that problem, Kenny?” Kyle asks as they walk down the stairs. 

“Yeah, I don’t really get it,” Kenny answers, honest. When they are just outside of the kitchen, Kenny stops and so does Kyle. 

“What is it?” Kyle asks, worried, but Kenny just shakes his head. He slowly strides towards Kyle, and Kyle steps back, letting Kenny press him against the wall. There is no one to witness what happens next, and maybe that’s why Kyle doesn’t want to push Kenny away. 

Kenny doesn’t know what he is doing, whether it’s right or wrong, but Kyle doesn’t stop him. He leans down, pecks the other on the lips, waits for some kind of reaction. When Kyle opens his mouth to him, his heart skips a beat. Kenny presses him further against the wall, and Kyle’s arms shot up around the other’s shoulders, pulling him suddenly closer. 

Kenny’s eyes flutter close. Kyle’s scent is inebriating. He feels Kyle suck on his lower lip, right where he bit him the first time they’ve kissed. He raises his hand and cups his friend’s cheek, softly moves Kyle’s head to the right, makes him moan, pulls slightly away and starts trailing little kisses all along Kyle’s jaw and collarbone. Kyle presses his nose in Kenny’s hair, and Kenny does the same. He laughs when Kyle’s curls tickle his nose, and then suddenly Kyle’s mouth is on his again. 

Kenny’s hand finds a way under Kyle’s shirt… 

Someone coughs. 

Kyle shoves Kenny abruptly away, and Kenny shots an annoyed look at Mr. Black, who lingers on the doorway, uncomfortable. 

“Shouldn’t you guys been studying?” Token’s father asks. 

“We are studying anatomy,” Kenny retorts and lets out a yelp when Kyle slaps him on the head. Kyle is too embarrassed to articulate a good reply to Mr. Black’s inquiring stare, so he just points to the kitchen and says: 

“Water”. 

“Yes, of course” Mr. Black says and steps away of the doorway. Kenny sighs, waits for Kyle to come back with two glasses of water in his hands, and they make their way up the stairs again. They don’t talk about the kiss, but it doesn’t feel awkward between them either. 

.

Kyle doesn’t act any weirder on the following days, and Kenny is glad the boy has decided not to declare war on Korea or blame something stupid because of a hot kiss. It feels natural to sit next to him in the library, or when they are playing videogames. Neither Cartman nor Stan see anything wrong with them, and when Kenny starts playing with Kyle’s hand one day as he bickers with Cartman over something pointless, no one seems to notice. 

Study times at Token’s house don’t lead to sexy times anymore, but Kenny doesn’t mind. He is learning something, and although Kyle can’t be quite annoying when he tries to be a good teacher, he is getting the hang of it. He is not going to fail the math test after all. 

On the eve of the test, Stan decides he has enough of studying and declares he is going to go home sooner. Kyle decides to bid everyone goodnight less than a half an hour later, and Kenny follows him. 

“You know, I overheard Bebe telling Wendy she is going to get back with Clyde,” Kyle says as an ice-breaker while the two walk down the empty sidewalk. 

“She got over me already?” Kenny asks. 

“You sound disappointed”. 

“She didn’t fight for my hand,” Kenny says and laughs when Kyle’s expression darkens. “Oh, come on. You know my heart is already taken”. 

Kyle’s misses a step, and Kenny feels actually proud of himself. The street is completely empty, and they don’t care about traffic lights when they cross the road. 

“Kenny,” Kyle declares at some point, stopping right in the middle of the street. “I think we need to talk”.

Kenny hears it before he sees it. He has heard the sound many times before: the hiss of a truck approaching real fast, and Kyle’s eyes go wide. He looks like a deer caught in the headlights, and it would be funny if that wasn’t literally the case. 

“Watch out!” Kenny shouts and pushes Kyle away, back to the safety of the sidewalk.

Then everything turns black. 

* * *


	2. Part II

> _**Never explain anything.**_  
>  -H.P.Lovecraft. 

###  Part II 

There is a moment when Kyle thinks: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Kenny is dead. _Kenny is dead_. Dead. Dead. Dead. He stares at the mess sprawled on the hot asphalt in horror. He’s shaking violently, and all he wants to do is to fall on his knees and puke his intestines out. Next thing he knows, Kyle is walking back home. Kenny is not with him; he must have left Token’s house earlier with Stan. 

But as he unlocks the front door and sees his mother welcoming back home, Kyle realizes there is something wrong with that supposition. Kenny has left with him, not with Stan. Ike asks him if he has taken his iPad, but all Kyle can hear and feel in that moment are Kenny’s last words and two hands pushing him away from danger. 

“Kyle? Are you listening to me?” 

Kenny is dead. 

“Kyle?” 

“I’m tired, Ike. Have you tried calling him?” 

“Who?” Ike asks. 

Kyle should call him; he should call Kenny and ask him why he hasn’t waited for him and decided to leave with Stan instead. Was he angry at him? Kyle should be angry at him! He didn’t make the first move, after all. Kenny kissed him first, and things just got a little bit out of hand and-!

“Oh, gee, Kyle!” Ike exclaims, frustrated. “I hate you!” 

No, Kenny couldn’t be angry at him. He saved him. Is he really dead? 

“I’m going to sleep. ‘night everyone,” he bids and climbs up the stairs. He is too out of it to fully comprehend what he is doing and when he slips into bed, the question whether he has eaten or not, if he has brushed his teeth or not, if he has pajamas on or not are just thoughts pushed to the back of his mind . Kyle doesn’t actually care. 

Kenny is dead. 

Kyle closes his eyes and falls asleep. They will see each other in the morning anyway, and then Kyle will ask Kenny why he left earlier. They need to talk; Kenny can’t walk away from him like that. 

* * *

The next morning Kyle arrives at the bus station a little later than usual. His friends are already there, listening to Cartman bitching about the math test. 

“We should do something about it,” Cartman says. “It is unacceptable that the teaching staff terrorizes the students in this way for a fucking math test. What’s the big idea?” 

“Cartman, no,” Kyle declares standing between him and Stan as he usually does. “Whatever you are planning, just forget it. I want this test to be over with, so don’t even try to make us put it off for another week”. 

“But Kyle!” Cartman whines. Kenny snickers besides Cartman, and Kyle tilts his head back to look at him better. When Kenny raises his head, Kyle manages to take a glimpse of Kenny’s blue eyes under his orange parka. The image of those very same eyes widening up in fear flashes in his mind, quickly and strong. Kyle feels petrified and his heart starts racing in his chest, as if someone has punched his lungs in. He’s completely out of breath. Kenny is not supposed to be here, right? 

“I actually agree with Kyle,” Stan says. “It has dragged on long enough. Let’s just get this over with”. 

Kyle is hyperventilating and he must have missed something, because Kenny’s forehead creases with worry as he takes a step toward him. 

“Fine, Kyle!” Cartman exclaims. “Ignore me all you want, you fucking Jew. It’s better if I don’t copy from you, anyway, because you are going to mess up all your answers just to spite me”. 

“Kyle, you okay?” Stan asks, and Kyle finally forces himself to look away from Kenny and fixes his eyes on his best friend instead. 

“Yes, why?” 

Stan puts his hands in his pockets and his lips move to form words Kyle can’t hear. His attention is all on the sound of the school bus stopping in front of them. The screech of rubber tires against asphalt makes Kyle jump back in shock, and Kenny is immediately by his side, snugging his arm around Kyle’s waist to support him before he can fall on his butt. Cartman mumbles something under his breath and steps in on the school bus, followed by Stan. 

“You okay?” Kenny whispers. Kyle feels shivers run down his spine when Kenny’s breath caresses the back of his ear. 

“I’m fine,” Kyle spats, untangles himself from Kenny’s embrace and hops on the bus. He hears Kenny sigh behind him but he doesn’t dare to check. He sits down next to Stan as he always does, Cartman and Kenny on the seats right behind them, but he doesn’t follow the conversation his friends are having. All he can think of is Kenny flopped down on his seat, leaning his forehead against the window, bored out of his mind. Kyle can picture him perfectly in his head, he doesn’t really need to turn around to see him, and the fact Kyle can do that bothers him to no end. There is something wrong here. Once again the feeling of two hands pressing on his chest and pushing him away takes his breath away. Kyle hates that song. Fucking love songs. 

During the test, Kyle cannot really concentrate. He needs to read the question thrice to fully understand it, but he tries hard anyway and scribbles down his answers. Kenny is behind him, but he shouldn’t really be there, should he? Kyle thinks he is going mad. He feels more than sees Kenny’s presence, the way he restlessly moves his leg up and down, thinking hard on an answer, biting down on his pen... Kyle groans. 

“Silence,” the professor orders them. 

Question number five: if X and Y are points of a Cartesian coordinate system…

Kyle knows something is wrong. His sleep has been disturbed by nightmares all night. A truck is driving fast and Kyle is in the way, but before the unthinkable can happen, two hands push him away. There it goes again: that feeling of dread, his heart clenching every time he looks up at Kenny, Kenny’s eyes, Kenny’s lips, Kenny, Kenny. 

Kyle runs a hand through his hair and reads the following question, tapping his pen against the desk to force himself to concentrate. There is something wrong with Kenny, no doubt about it. There is something mysterious surrounding the other boy that Kyle cannot put a finger on. His nightmares feel too real to be true, and Kyle is suddenly reminded of how serious Kenny was when they used to play superheroes back in the good days. Mysterion acted too much like a real vigilante to be true. Kenny took his part seriously, and for a while Kyle too was fooled. Mysterion had no cool superpower, but he was fearless anyway. 

The question was, why? 

Question number seven: simplify the infinite product… 

Kyle is going to get to the bottom of it. There is a reason why Kenny’s presence makes him feel weird in the stomach since morning. Something happened the day before that Kyle has not given enough attention to, and he is going to solve this mystery. 

Kyle suddenly feels the need to turn around. Kenny raises his head just in that moment and smiles softly at him. Kyle’s faces goes hot; Kenny is looking at him as if to say I-know-something-you-don’t. Well, guess what, Kenny? I am going to find out what it is soon too, no need to gloat. 

“Broflovski!” the prof shouts. “Eyes on your paper”. 

Cartman snickers. Oh, fuck you too, Cartman. 

***

When school is over Kyle decides to pay a visit to the public library. During lunch break he has not found anything interesting on the internet, so Kyle has to resort to more traditional methods to get the information he needs. Stan refuses to accompany him, Kyle doesn’t ask Cartman at all, and when Kenny offers to come with him, Kyle tells him there is no need to. Kenny’s lips become a hard line, and a hurt look crosses his face. 

It’s gone before Kyle can register what has happened. 

“Whatever,” Kenny says and without another word leaves him alone by the bus stop. Kyle watches him go, staring at Kenny’s slumped shoulders until the blond disappears around the corner. He fights with the urge to call him back, but then shakes his head no in anger. That very same urge is the reason why he is doing this, so it’s better that Kyle does his research before he can confront Kenny about it. 

When he steps in the library, however, Kyle realizes he has no idea what he is supposed to search for. He asks for advice to the librarian, a woman in her thirteens with a bob haircut. 

“I want something that can shed light on some, let’s say, symptoms”.

“A medical book?” 

“I don’t know. It’s hard to explain”. 

“Let’s start from the beginning,” the woman says, trying to sound helpful. “What are these symptoms?”

“Well, heart beating fast, muscles tensing, rapid breathing, difficulty concentrating…”

“It sounds like excitement to me”. 

“No! It’s more like, feeling that something is not supposed to be there, almost dreading to turn around and realize that it’s gone”.

The librarian hums. 

“Does this happen with someone in particular?” 

“What do you mean by that?” 

“Well, it may be that you are in love. I might have just the right book for you!” she exclaims with a grin, ready to stand up. 

“No!” Kyle shouts, so loud that all the library’s users turn their heads to look at him all together. “No, it’s not that,” he repeats quieter, “I was thinking something more… paranormal”. 

“Like ghosts?” the librarian asks, taken aback. 

“Ghost do not exist, you retard,” a new voice pipes in, and Kyle snaps to look at one of the library’s employees, all dressed in black and with an annoyed expression on her round face. It takes him a while to recognize her without her cigarette between her fingers and the heavy make-up on, but it’s definitely her. 

“Henrietta?” Kyle asks. Henrietta scoffs and puts some books on the counter right in front of the librarian. “You work here?” 

“Just to scrape some money together and get the fuck away from this poser city,” Henrietta says. “So, what’s all this about ghosts?” 

“I thought you believe in ghosts!” Kyle exclaims in surprise, but Henrietta rolls her eyes to the ceiling in response. 

“It became clear to me that conformists use ghosts as a security blanket long ago. You know, people who want to live this pointless existence even after death. But truth is, there is nothing but eternal darkness and peace after this,” Henrietta explains. Kyle scrunches his nose, deep in thought, while Henrietta lazily walks around the counter to a cart filled with books. She is ready to walk away with the cart, when Kyle finally makes up his mind. 

“But if ghosts don’t exist,” Kyle blurts out, “how do you explain the feeling you get when something is not supposed to be there?” 

Henrietta stops and looks at him, raising an eyebrow, unimpressed. 

“I would call it disillusionment? Disconnection with reality? Schizophrenia?” 

“That’s not what I meant,” Kyle says, anger boiling inside him. He takes a deep breath and starts from the beginning: “I had a dream,” he says. “A truck almost runs me over, but a friend shoves me away just in time. This guy literally sacrifices himself for me and I can see his dead body tight at my feet. The next day, he is alive”. 

Henrietta finally looks a little bit more interested in Kyle’s words. 

“But he is no ghost,” Henrietta says. 

“No, he’s not,” Kyle admits. 

“May I suggest a good book on dream psychology?” the librarian interrupts them, and Henrietta shoots her an annoyed look. 

“She may be right, you know,” Henrietta says. “You just had a very realistic nightmare, but it doesn’t mean it’s real”. 

“I know, but it made me think,” Kyle says, feeling stupider the more he talks about it. “I want to know if it’s possible for someone to come back to life”. 

“What about a book on Hinduism? Or on Jesus Christ?” the librarian suggests. Henrietta and Kyle ignore her. 

“Death is final,” Henrietta declares after a long moment of silence. 

“So you think it’s impossible,” Kyle says. 

“I didn’t say it is,” Henrietta replies. “In the Sacred Book of Cthulhu, for example, there is a paragraph that describes creatures that can defy Death. Their souls are immortal and they come back with a new body every time they die”. 

“I’ve already heard about the Cthulhu’s cult,” Kyle says, “but I didn’t know there was a book about it”. 

“All religions have a book,” Henrietta says matter-of-factly. 

“Do you think creatures like the one you describe exist?” 

“I never saw one,” Henrietta says, “but I can bring you the Sacred Book, if you are interested. Just sit down and I’ll come to you later”. Henrietta turns her back to him and walks away with her cart without another word. Kyle sighs and decides to search for something useful in the old newspapers while he waits for Henrietta to come back. 

Kyle leafs through all the files and the newspapers he can put his hands on, waiting for some name to come up more than once in the obituaries. There is nothing interesting there, but he does stumble on a very old article about Kenny’s parents being arrested in a Cthulhu meeting of some kind. He has read that article when he was a child, when that whole Cthulhu’s mess happened. Kenny had acted weirdly back then, and always disappeared when they last expected. 

Kyle’s heart skips a beat. What if Kenny had not disappeared? What if Kenny had died and none of them remembered? That doesn’t make sense, right? 

“Here you go,” Henrietta says putting the old dusty book in front of Kyle’s nose. 

“You would remember someone dying and coming back the next day, would you?” Kyle asks, feeling his chest tighten in anticipation. 

“I think I would, yes,” Henrietta says and leaves him alone once again. 

Kyle opens the Sacred Book of Cthulhu with a sigh. It’s a small thick volume of exactly 600 pages, the calligraphy is weird but it’s readable. He goes through it until the library closes, burrows it and finishes the book late in the night. There is nothing interesting there besides the paragraph Henrietta talked to him about. Henrietta says Death is final, but even the Sacred Book expresses conflicting theories on it. The existence of creatures with immortal souls confirms that Death is not final after all. Kyle thinks he is going crazy, but when his digital clock flashes 4:21 Kyle decides this is a good theory as any. Kyle feels what he feels because Kenny has indeed died in front of him. A normal human being was not supposed to wait for Kyle at the bus station the next day. His heart beats faster, his breath increases and his muscle tense with anticipation because Kenny is there, alive, when Kyle has thought he would never see him again. He couldn’t concentrate on the test because of it. 

Kenny is immortal. 

He needs to talk to someone about it! 

* * *

The next day Kyle waits until lunch break to share his theory with Stan. Kenny is more silent than usual, but Kyle blames the fact Cartman keeps interrupting them all with his constant ramblings. Kyle wants to take Kenny away from everyone and talk to him, but he doesn’t have the guts to, not until Stan confirms he is not going to make an ass of himself with his Kenny-is-immortal theory. 

“Stan, do you have a moment?” Kyle asks pulling him away from the others. Cartman makes a sarcastic comment, but it’s Kenny laughing at him that makes Kyle feel like he’s being slapped. Kyle and Kenny share a look, but Kenny is gone before he can ask him what’s his problem is. 

“What’s up?” Stan asks. Kyle takes a big breath and starts talking. When he throws out his theory, however, Stan doesn’t look as fascinated and shocked as Kyle has hoped him to be.

“Oh, Jesus, not again,” Stan says pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“What?”

“I thought you were smart, Kyle,” Stan groans. “First K-Pop and now this. Seriously, Kyle. I’m fine with it, okay? You don’t need to come up with any crazy explanation why you are so obsessed with Kenny! I was there when he was sucking your face, remember? When Tweek and Craig were fighting? I know, Kyle, okay? I don’t care if you are gay, bi, Kennysexual, whatever! Just… I don’t wanna know”. 

“Stan, I’m not coming up with this! Kenny is-!” 

“God, Wendy was right,” Stan interrupts him. “Listen, it’s okay. I’m a little bit shocked but I’ll get over it”. 

“What did Wendy say?” Kyle asks, immediately on the defensive. 

“Just admit it, Kyle,” Stan says. “I’m not going to buy all this Kenny-is-immortal crap because he makes your knees go weak. I’m your best friend. It’s not like I’ll look at you any different from now on, dude”. 

Kyle stares at him, flabbergasted. Stan pats his shoulder and walks past him in the direction of the cafeteria, while Kyle remains there, petrified on the spot. 

“The fuck?” 

***

There is no way out of this one. Kyle has to talk about his theory with Kenny and hear its confirmation straight from the horse’s mouth. Later in the afternoon, Kyle finds Kenny sitting in the schoolyard talking with Butters, or maybe it should be more accurate to say Kyle finds him listening to one of Butter’s boring rants. Kenny doesn’t look up at him when Kyle stops right in front of them. 

“Hey, Kyle! What’s up?” Butters asks, cheerful as ever. 

“Good,” Kyle cuts short, not knowing why he feels resentment against Butters all of a sudden. “Kenny, do you have a minute?” 

“So now we are talking again?” Kenny asks, his lips tugging upwards in a sarcastic grin. Butters looks suddenly very uncomfortable between the two of them. 

“Fellas, it’s not good fighting over nothing,” Butters says. “You’re going to say some very nasty things to each other and then it’s-!” 

“It’s none of your business, Butters,” Kyle snaps. 

“Alrighty then,” Butters mumbles. 

Kenny shoots up. 

“Sorry,” Kyle mutters. 

“It’s fine, really,” Butters says. 

“Let’s go, Butters,” Kenny says at the same time. 

“I want to talk to you, Kenny!” Kyle exclaims, and Kenny turns to him again. 

“You know what?” Kenny asks. “ _I_ don’t want to talk to you, unless you want to explain why you are avoiding me like the plague these past two days”. 

“I am not avoiding you,” Kyle says taken completely by surprise. Kenny rolls his eyes to the sky. 

“Screw you, Kyle,” Kenny says, shaking his head. “I’m done with you freaking out”. 

“I am not freaking out!” Kyle exclaims, pulls Kenny’s arm before the blond can walk away. “We need to talk. It’s important”. 

Kenny clicks his tongue in annoyance, but does turn around to fully face Kyle, eyebrow raised, waiting. The intensity in those blue eyes is so strong that it burns Kyle’s soul, makes him feel weak in the stomach. There is a lump in his throat that makes it difficult for words to come out, but he knows he is in the right, so he has to talk before Kenny completely misunderstands his silence, no matter how crazy the other will think he is. 

“Butters, do you mind?” Kyle asks, his eyes not leaving Kenny’s ones. 

“No, not at all,” Butters says and practically runs away from them. 

“I know you are keeping a secret from me,” Kyle says trying to sound convincing. “Can we go to your house or something? I don’t think doing this in the middle of the schoolyard is a good idea”. 

Kenny’s eyebrow rises a notch, and Kyle can already hear the lewd comment Kenny wants to throw his way hanging on the tip of his tongue. But Kenny remains silent. His eyes wander all over Kyle’s face, probably searching for some clue, something that can serve as an indication of their upcoming discussion. Kyle doubts he will ever guess right. His Kenny-is-immortal theory is getting weaker and weaker by the minute.

“Fine, let’s go,” Kenny says in the end, turns abruptly around, obviously still pissed at Kyle for some reason, and Kyle follows him to the McCormick’s house in silence. 

Kenny’s mom welcomes them in. Mr. McCormick is not home and neither are Kyle’s siblings, so Kyle feels quite relieved when they step in Kenny’s room and there is no one there to bug them. Carol has the TV blaring, so it’s impossible she is going to hear what they are saying. 

Kenny sits down on the floor, almost defiantly, as if he wants to see what Kyle will do next, whether he is going to accept the fact he is poor or run away because he’s grossed out by rats and suspicious stains on the floor. Kyle sits down cross-legged in front of him. They look like children playing Patty-cake, and Kyle would laugh at the mental picture if it isn’t for the seriousness of the situation. 

“Spit it out,” Kenny says. He looks nervous, and Kyle wonders why. 

“I’ve dreamt about you,” Kyle blurts out, even if he knows it’s not the way he should have started his confrontation with Kenny. The latter smirks in amusement, leans closer to him and asks: 

“Was it a good dream?”

“No, actually no,” Kyle says. A confused look crosses the other’s face, and Kenny sits up straighter. “You died,” Kyle admits, feeling suddenly very self-conscious. “We were walking in the middle of the street, a truck was going to run me over and you saved me”. 

Kenny’s face pales, but Kyle blames it on the fact that he has just heard Kyle dreaming of him dying. 

“You died, and yet, here you are,” Kyle whispers. His words sound ridiculous even to him. 

“It was just a nightmare,” Kenny says, his voice cracks, and Kyle massages his temples.

He hears Stan’s accusation again in his mind and he finally understands why Stan didn’t believe him. His theory and Cthulhu’s Sacred Book is bogus, that was it is. Kenny is there, right in front of him, and his nightmare is just that, a nightmare. He looks up at his friend, notices the way Kenny’s lips are slightly parted, studies the line of his nose; Kyle wants to imprint every feature in his brain. He fears his heart is going to burst. 

“I know it sounds insane,” Kyle says. Despite everything, he doesn’t want to back down from his theory just yet, no matter how crazy it sounds. His pride can’t take it. Kenny is staring at him, and Kyle is suddenly conscious of Kenny’s hand on his knee. It feels hot even with his jeans separating it from Kyle’s skin. 

“What are you trying to say?” Kenny asks.

“I don’t know,” Kyle confesses. “It felt so real that I still think it truly happened”. 

“What if it did?” Kenny asks, taking Kyle completely by surprise. 

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Kyle asks, feeling suddenly hopeful. 

“Would you look at me any different if I tell you?” Kenny asks.

“Tell me what?” Kyle asks back. Kenny suddenly slides his hand away from Kyle’s knee, and Kyle feels suddenly cold. The blond stands up, walks over to his three-legged nightstand and opens his drawer, but Kyle can’t see what Kenny pulls out. It’s safely hidden inside Kenny’s parka before he can take a glimpse of it. 

Kenny sits back down in front of Kyle. His face is too serious for Kyle’s taste, it makes him look more like an adult than the teenager he truly is. 

And then, out of the blue, Kyle understands why Stan has lashed out at him earlier at lunch break. 

“It was just a nightmare, Kyle,” Kenny says, as if he hasn’t confessed to be keeping secret mere seconds before. He smiles, and Kyle’s chest tightens. “Are you sure you didn’t just freak out because of what is happening between us?” he asks, there is uncertainty in his voice that Kyle is not used to hear from him. 

Kyle wonders if Stan is right. Maybe he did freak out. 

“I like girls…” Kyle says, unsure of what he is saying. “Remember Rebecca? Bebe? Heidi?” 

“Heidi? You liked Heidi?” Kenny asks, snorting in amusement. 

“Don’t make fun of me,” Kyle snaps. 

“What about me?” Kenny asks. “You even dream about me, so it must be really serious”. 

“Knock it off, Kenny”.

But Kenny just smiles, his eyes soften, and Kyle is mesmerized. His Kenny-is-immortal theory makes no sense, it’s bullshit. Kenny is there, alive and healthy, and Kyle is happy he is because he is head over heels with the guy. 

Oh.

Jesus Christ, he is supposed to be the smart one, but he is not. He is suddenly aware he must have sounded like a crackpot. He has followed his own conclusion, has believed his theories to be true and airtight and has rejected the truth that was right in front of him. Kenny’s hand is suddenly on his knee again, and Kyle feels a little out of breath. He is head over heels with Kenny. How the hell did that happen?

He suddenly remembers when, in third grade, his mother has forced Kenny to spit into Kyle’s mouth to give him chickenpox, and laughs at himself for not minding Kenny’s mouth on his anymore. Look at him now: sitting in front of Kenny, making up crazy stories to justify his attraction for him. 

“If you keep looking at me like that, I won’t take responsibility for my actions,” Kenny suddenly whispers, pushing Kyle out of his thoughts. 

“I won’t stop you,” Kyle says and feels like smirking when his words seem to take the infamous flirty Kenny totally aback. Kyle suddenly sighs, no time to gloat. He owes an apology to Kenny first. 

“Kenny, about that nightmare…” Kyle hesitates. “That was the reason why I avoided you these past two days. I was convinced you were keeping something from me, that you were,” Kyle laughs nervously, “immortal or something, and I just wanted to obtain hard evidence on it before I could talk to you about it. I was wrong and I’m sorry”. 

Kenny stares at him, his face is completely unreadable. 

“You never remember anyway, so it surprises me you went to great lengths to prove it wasn’t just a nightmare” Kenny says, but it feels as if he is talking more to himself than to Kyle. 

“I don’t remember what?” Kyle asks, caught completely off guard.

“The fact that I die,” Kenny says flat, and Kyle gawks. 

“Do you think this is funny, Kenny?” Kyle says, suddenly angry. “It’s hard admitting I was wrong as it is”. 

“I’m not making fun of you,” Kenny says, his voice soft, almost loving, which disorients Kyle even more. “I thought you didn’t care about me”. 

“You know I do,” Kyle says, his lips a thin line. “So I would remember if you died, wouldn’t I?” 

“Kyle, I tried to tell you so many times,” Kenny says, “but you always forget. I got used to it by now”. 

“Kenny, it’s not funny,” Kyle declares but dread petrifies him. Only his heart beats faster and faster. “Don’t freak me out, dude. Whatever is upsetting you now, you can tell me”. 

“I want to, Kyle, but you are just going to forget anyway,” Kenny snaps, and suddenly he is angry again and Kyle doesn’t know what to do. 

“Just tell me,” Kyle orders. 

“Fine,” Kenny says, resolute. “I’m going to show you that you actually weren’t wrong at all. It hurts like a bitch every time, but I’ll do it for you, even if tomorrow you won’t remember a thing”. 

“What?” Kyle asks, his curiosity piqued, but then his heart dropped when Kenny pulled out the gun from his parka: that was what he had taken out of the drawer before. “What the fuck, Kenny! Put that down!” 

Kenny puts the gun to his right temple, and his left hand is back on Kyle’s knee, almost reassuring, steading him. 

“Relax, you are not going to remember anyway,” Kenny says, oddly calm. “I can’t die, Kyle. Tomorrow you’ll think we have talked it out, that you apologized and that I accepted your apology. You’ll forget about your nightmares and your theories, and we are going to go back to normal again, okay? Kyle, I owe you this. You were right. I did die.”. 

“You don’t owe me anything! Put that down!” Kyle shouts, but before he can stop him, Kenny pulls the trigger. 

Kyle stills. He realizes he has started screaming only when Carol McCormick barges into the room and pulls him into her embrace. Kyle doesn’t hear any sound. It’s different than the last time, because now he is perfectly aware of what is happening, that Kenny did die, right in front of him. This is not a nightmare. This is reality. 

Kenny’s mom is shouting something at him, probably asking what has just happened, why her son is on the floor with his head blown up, but Kyle cannot answer. It’s his fault. Kenny is unpredictable, proves his point in the most messed up ways, but it’s Kyle who pushed him to it. He shouldn’t have brought his theory up. He should have listened to reason. Stan was right. Bebe was right. Everyone has read between the lines but him. 

Next thing he knows, Kyle is in his bed, his eyes fixed on the ceiling and his mother hand in his curls. 

“Did you have a fight with Kenny, Bubbie?” Sheila asks tenderly, like only mothers can. When Kyle doesn’t answer, she sighs and adds: “Come on, Kyle, it’s a school night, you should get some sleep”.

“How can you be so cool about it, mom?” Kyle croaks out, his throat aches. “Kenny killed himself right in front of me”.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Kyle,” Sheila says. “Kenny is at home”. 

No, he is not. Kyle wants to tell her so but doesn’t and wonders if Carol hasn’t mentioned her son’s death on purpose. Kenny has pulled the trigger. Kenny is definitely dead. Kyle is never going to see him again. Never. Maybe Carol doesn’t want to hold Kyle responsible. 

The bed creaks when his mother leaves his side. She bids him goodnight and softly closes the door behind her. Everybody is acting so normally that Kyle feels the odd one out. But Kenny is dead. He has not imagined it. His shirt is stained with blood. 

The next morning Kyle doesn’t have the strength to go to school but he goes anyway. He doesn’t know how to inform the guys of Kenny’s death, but he has to, so he tries to get out of bed, makes himself presentable and heads to the bus stop. 

“-and all of that for a fucking guinea pig!” 

Kyle abruptly stops. 

“You shouldn’t have provoked him,” Kenny says. 

“Yeah, dude,” Stan says. 

“Whatever, guys. It was hella-lame,” Cartman says. “Hey, Kyle,” he greets but Kyle is not looking at him. He is staring at Kenny instead, who has the guts to turn around and smile at him. _Smile_ at him! 

Kyle strides across the road and punches Kenny right on the nose before any of them can utter a word. Stan gasps as Kenny staggers back and holds his face in pain. 

“What the fuck, dude?” Kenny shouts, his voice muffled. Stan grabs Kyle by the shoulders to keep him from pouncing on Kenny again, but Kyle immediately elbows him away from him. 

“You killed yourself!” Kyle shouts, grabs Kenny by the front of his parka and violently yanks him. “You bastard!” 

Kenny’s eyes become as wide as saucers, and Kyle wants to punch him again, just because he dares to look so surprised at him. 

“Dude,” Cartman whispers besides them. “Is he crying? Are you PMSing again?” 

“Shut up Cartman!” Kyle exclaims, pointing a finger at him, “or I’m going to kick your teeth in next!” 

Cartman immediately shuts up, and Kyle turns to Kenny again, pulls his hood abruptly down and checks for wounds on the other’s head, caressing the spot where the gun barrel came in contact with Kenny’s temple. Kyle’s fingers trail down and then up again, and Kyle gently moves Kenny’s face to search for any suspicious scar. 

“Kyle!” Stan exclaims. His friend’s voice brings Kyle out of his reverie and he finally lets go of Kenny. The blonde’s nose is bleeding but Kenny doesn’t seem to be bothered by the hot liquid trailing down his lip. 

“Should we get you two a room?” Cartman asks. “Wanna make out or something?”

“I’m warning you-!” Kyle starts. 

“Shut up, fatso,” Kenny snaps before Kyle can end his sentence. He wipes the blood with the back of his sleeve, and Kyle suddenly feels weak. The adrenaline rush is finally gone. He almost kneels down on the ground but Kenny pulls him back up, his arm steading him. 

“Wow,” Cartman says. 

“You okay, Kyle?” Stan asks, and Kyle finally sees what his friends are seeing: a man bowling his eyes out holding onto Kenny to keep his sanity. This is so pathetic, he knows, but he has no intention to let Kenny go. Not yet.

“No,” he blurts out although he wants to say yes. Kenny is there. Kenny is alive. When Kenny’s fingers intertwine with his, Kyle heaves out a sigh of relief.

“I’ll take him home,” Kenny says pulling Kyle away from the other. Even Cartman is too stunned to comment on it while Stan doesn’t really know where to fix his gaze. He looks worried, but then again he doesn’t know where to stand. 

“It’s fine, Stan,” Kenny says, and that seems to reassure him, because Stan shots a relieved look at Kyle and puts his hands back in his pockets. Kyle lets Kenny take him away. They are going to skip school that day, but it doesn’t matter. 

“Don’t do that to me ever again, Kenny,” Kyle says when they are out of earshot. He finally pushes the other away and turns to face him. “Just don’t”. 

“You remember?”

“Of course I fucking remember!” Kyle shouts. “You blew your brains up! How the fuck was I going to forget something like that?” 

“You usually do,” Kenny whispers. 

“Apparently I don’t anymore, so you better not try killing yourself in front of me ever again!” 

Kenny chuckles, but Kyle doesn’t think this is funny, at all. 

“Kenny,” Kyle starts, takes a deep breath to calm himself down, “how many times did you die?”

“Too many to count,” Kenny says. 

“Why don’t I fucking remember any of those times?” Kyle asks, angry at himself for missing something so big. 

“I don’t know. I guess you are not supposed to remember,” Kenny says, putting his hands in his pockets. Kyle looks at him, truly looks at him, and feels like a jerk. 

“Listen, Ky,” Kenny whispers then, gulps down, scratches his head. “Do you remember when you said that I am selfless and stuff?” Kenny hesitates, and Kyle fixes his gaze on the already dry blood beneath Kenny’s nose, reminding him of the blood scattered on the wall behind Kenny’s dead body. Kyle moves closer to him and wipes the reminder away with his thumb. He pushes Kenny to sit on the first bench they find, and the other complies without protesting. 

“Yeah?” Kyle asks, sounding weirdly fond even to his own ears. When did he get so weak? Kenny looks up at him, and Kyle sees that the other eyes are moist. 

“I’m not selfless, Ky,” Kenny says. “What’s so selfless about being glad that someone out there finally knows what it feels to lose me forever?” 

Kyle doesn’t fight the urge to kiss Kenny’s forehead. His lips touch the spot on Kenny’s temple, where the bullet had made its way in Kenny’s head the evening before; he feels the skin against his lips, knows he looks ridiculous to an outsider, maybe even to Kenny himself, but stops giving a damn about it. 

“Don’t put me through that ever again,” Kyle whispers sitting down next to Kenny.

“I can’t promise you that,” Kenny says. 

“Just try,” Kyle replies. 

* * *

The Park is unnaturally silent at that time of the day. The adults are working, kids are still in school, and only some hobos and college students walk by every few hours. They are practically on their own, so no one give a fuck if Kyle starts one of his long-winded speeches. The only one who doesn’t agree with that is Kenny. 

“I’m not going to college,” Kyle is saying, his final argument. They’ve been discussing about it for half an hour now, and Kyle isn’t going to back down so easily. 

“You have to, Kyle, that’s what you want to do!” 

“I’ll stay here with you”. 

“Don’t be a romantic piece of shit. I am saying it for your own sake”. 

“But you said that every time you die, you end up in your own bed, here in South Park, which means that no matter where it happens, you are just going to pop up _here_. It’s going to be difficult for us to live together in another city, if you die and reappear in this shithole every fucking time. It’s better if I don’t leave at all”. 

“Bullshit, I can learn to drive a car and I’ll be back to you in a few hours”. 

“Picture this: we _do_ have a car, but, unfortunately for you, it doesn’t come with you in South Park on its own when you are dead. What about that?” 

“Wow, irony is indeed subtle”.

“Kenny”. 

“Well, Kyle, we’ll have two cars!” 

“With what money?”

“I’ll think of something”. 

“Ha ha! I knew it. So we are back to square one: you just have to be more careful and try not to die all the time!” 

“It’s not my fault I die!”

“It seems to me you are taking your resurrection powers for granted and you don’t mind your footing anymore!” Kyle reprimands him. “Let’s face it; you practically live on the edge because you know you are unstoppable”.

“I don’t like to die”.

“Who does, Kenny?” Kyle exclaims. “So be more careful, for my sake, so we can go on with our lives like two normal human beings and I don’t have to worry any fucking second if you ended up being run over by a fucking motorcycle because you weren’t paying attention to the street lights!”

“You sound like a hysterical girlfriend, you know that right? It’s annoying”.

“Fuck you, Kenny,” Kyle snaps. “It’s either that or I am not going to college”. 

“Is this a fucking ultimatum?” Kenny asks, pissed off. 

“Karen would agree with me,” Kyle says. 

“She wouldn’t want me to leave”.

“Ask her,” Kyle says. “And if she doesn’t, then I’m not bringing this up ever again. I can carry on a long-distance relationship, no big deal”. 

“Y-you want to be in a long-distance relationship with me?” Kenny asks, faking shock and putting a hand on his heart for show. Kyle flips him off, crosses his arms over his chest and looks away. Kenny snickers, puts an arm around Kyle’s shoulders and gently squeezes his arm. “I’m just messing with you. Now I get why Cartman likes to rile you up so much. It’s hilarious”.

Kyle hmphs. 

“We have not finished high school yet, Kyle,” Kenny says, “so we have all the time of the world to think about college and stuff, right?”

“That was not the point. I’m not pressuring you to go to college. I just want to know you are safe,” Kyle retorts. 

“My heart is going all doki-doki now”.

“I don’t know what that means, but I’m serious, Kenny”.

“I know,” Kenny says and flashes Kyle a bright smile. Kyle looks at him, scowling, but when Kenny leans down and kisses him, his anger slowly melts away. 

.

It’s difficult to explain why but when Kenny kisses Kyle in that moment it feels completely different from all the other times. Maybe it’s because Kyle finally shares his secret with him, or maybe it’s because Kenny felt his whole body tense up with excitement when Kyle said ‘I’m serious’. This feeling is not entirely new, but it’s much stronger than usual. Like a bird being suddenly set free when it didn’t know he was caged in the first place, that kind of shit.

He freaking loves Kyle Broflovski. He has no idea how that happened, he never thought of his redheaded friend in that way before, but here they are, arguing about a future together when they don’t even know what they are going to have for dinner. 

Kyle cups his face and pulls him closer, and Kenny doesn’t mind being led for once. Kyle’s back is fire in his palms. He loves the way Kyle’s fingers tangle in his hair, the way Kyle’s mouth dances with his, his scent in his nostrils. Kenny bets he always looks fantastic after a make out session with Kyle. He should pull his parka’s hood down more often so that others can see what Kyle does to him. 

Suddenly, probably too into their kiss to realize what he is doing, Kyle slightly bits Kenny’s lower lip, and Kenny unwillingly bursts out laughing. 

“What?” Kyle asks. Kenny loves how Kyle’s green eyes are glazed over with lust.

“So you do have a biting kink”.

Kyle rolls his eyes.

“Shut your mouth, McCormick”.

“Gladly,” he says and kisses Kyle once more. 

* * *

“So I read this book, the Sacred Book of Cthulhu, and there is a paragraph describing immortal creatures of some kind. Maybe there’s the key to your powers,” Kyle is saying to Kenny the next morning. “We’ll figure it out, Kenny. I’ll get to the bottom of it”.

“I’m actually fine not knowing,” Kenny says leaning against one of lockers while Kyle pulls out his books for next period from the one right next to Kenny. 

“You don’t want to know?” Kyle asks, sounding unconvinced. 

“Yes, it’s already weird as it is,” Kenny says and shrugs. “I’d rather figure out what I am through one of our crazy adventures than by sitting all summer long in a library with my nose in a dusty book”. 

“You just don’t like to read ancient, indecipherable books,” Kyle teases him with a smile reaching out to push away a strand of hair from Kenny’s eyes. “Admit it”.

“No, I don’t. I want to spend my time doing other… more interesting stuff”.

“Woah! I didn’t want to believe it, but it’s true!” Cartman exclaims suddenly stepping in front of them. Butters is right behind him, looking like a child caught with his hands in the cookie jar. Stan is standing next to him with Clyde and Craig, who watch them both with a mildly interested expression on their faces.

“So did you finally find your Prince Charming that makes your vagina all tingly, Kyle?” Cartman jokes.

“I am no fucking damsel in distress, Cartman” Kyle snaps, slamming his locker with a loud clang. 

“So are you two like, together now?” Clyde asks, tilting his head in confusion. Kenny smiles brightly at him as Kyle shoves his books into Kenny’s embrace and starts fighting with Cartman right next to them.

“So, this means you are not going to kiss Bebe ever again, right?” Clyde asks. 

“Only if she pays me five dollars for it,” Kenny jokes. Clyde pales.

“He’s messing with you, Clyde,” Craig says. 

“But what if she starts listening to K-Pop again and-!” Clyde starts, but Kenny is not listening to him anymore. He feels Stan lean against the locker next to him and the two of them turn their heads to watch Kyle and Cartman, who are now bickering over something completely unrelated to Cartman’s previous joke. Kenny feels his lips turn upwards when Kyle shoots his arms up in the air, nose scrunched, curls in his eyes. 

“I know I’m your friend and stuff,” Stan says. “But keep some details about your relationship hidden for me, okay?” 

“Sure thing, Stan,” Kenny says without taking his eyes off Kyle. “I’ll skip the boring parts and go right into describing Kyle’s-!”

“I don’t want to know, dude!” Stan exclaims, and Kenny laughs, feeling free for the first time in years. 

**The end.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking your time to read! This is my first attempt at South Park fanfiction, and I hope I managed to do justice to the characters. Critiques are always appreciated, of course.


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